Days in Donetsk - continued

Shopping has been fun, enlightening, hilarious, and very time consuming. I could not have gotten it accomplished without Heather Smith's help and Ryan & Evan's patience. Heather had to shop for two girls (and I only had to shop for one!) and spent a lot of time and effort looking at clothing in the mall stores, normal stores, and the street vendors. Heather found all the best places to shop and let me know where to look. She even kept an eye on Ryan and Evan so I could concentrate on sifting thru racks of clothes to find what I needed. (Heather picks up her 2 girls today and they will take the overnight train back to Kiev.)

So far I've gotten 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, coat, scarf, undies, shoes, socks, and a backpack. The backpack was a challenge. Anything in a 'girl' color was tiny. I finally spotted one that wasn't black/brown/maroon and decided to get it because it has lots of extra pockets. The shoes were another challenge. Here's a photo of what I purchased here.

We had brought a few clothing items from home but had planned on a younger girl. We left those small items already at the orphanage. I have some lightweight leggings & T-shirt Maria can sleep in but I might try to find a pair of pjs too. We also have some toys for her that we brought from home.

Below is a picture of the outside of the 'mall' in Donetsk. (taken from the fountains across the street.) It is easy to bypass the mall. It is across the street from the cannon and the fountains.

The mall is multi-level maze of tons of expensive shops. The upper level (level 3 from the elevator but more than 3 floors up) has a childrens clothing/toy store. At the opposite end of this store there is an arcade and pizza place (Cherry Pizza). There is also a grocery store. The grocery store is big and modern and has an entrance from the side street near all the atm machines. The boys like stopping in the playground outside near the parking lot.

This is not far from 'Sun City' restaurant (Aptema, 96a phone # 062-38-104-38). This resaurant has great food, nice prices, an English menu, pizza, chicken, and other foods. This restaurant also has a playground outside !

Days in Donetsk

Larry is working in Lux and the boys and I are in Donetsk during our 10 day waiting period. We are sharing an apartment with Heather Smith who is here adopting two girls. (see our list of other blogs) We are both being challenged by trying to find clothes/shoes/coat/pj/etc and a backpack to fully outfit our new family member(s) to provide clothes to wear leaving the orphanage plus enough to wear for the rest of the time spent in Ukraine. The street vendors are more affordable than the big retail stores. The fancy clothing stores are expensive and still do not offer the full range of sizes. It has been difficult wondering thru the maze of street vendors looking for girls clothing. Finally finding a vendor shop stacked with girl items then trying to communicate what we are looking for, sizes, colors, styles. Girls jeans here are decorated with all kind of 'stuff' and I am having trouble finding any that are just jeans. Shoes have been a real problem. Limited girl styles and sizes. Socks too, nothing is plain and simple. The boys have been so patient with all of the walking and shopping.

If any of you noticed the Ukraine time clock difference, daylight savings time ended here 10/26. So we will be temporarily 6 hours different from EST until your clocks fall back next week.

We have a new daughter !!

The court ruled in our favor today, granting us custody effective 11/03. We're very relieved. The hearing continuation went very smoothly. We had the original documents and the prosecutor who objected to things in Monday's hearing was not present. The local inspector even tracked down our child's 20 year old sister, who has had no contact with her since she has been in the system, and got a written statement from her that she supported the adoption. We really appreciate that.

So now we wait until Nov. 3rd. We're not quite comfortable showing pictures or stating our child's name until the waiting period but as soon as we're past that we'll post pictures. I (Larry) booked our return flights. Since the Donetsk region reissues existing passports rather than issuing new passports as other regions do, we're told that it will be a one day process and then we're back to Kiev to deal with US embassy. I had hoped I hadn't jinxed things by booking a flight for our child but I guess I didn't.

Days 29 and 30 - 10/19 & 10/20/08 - Court round 1

The 'fun' continues ...our court hearing did not go as planned. We only had a copy of the SDA approval rather than the original and the judge would not accept it. Our facilitator could not get the original document to us in time for the hearing and thought he had made arrangements with the judge to accept the copy. However, a prosecutor objected to the copy so we have to go back to continue the hearing Wednesday morning. We know have the original so we're ready for tomorrow. Everything at the hearing seemed to go okay aside from the document issue. We were there for about 90 minutes and had support of the local inspector and the school's social worker who were present. Hopefully, it will be a smooth hearing tomorrow.

We moved to Donetsk anyway so it will be a day trip tomorrow. We had checked out of our hotel and they had no vacancy, which is fine. We had made arrangements for this apartment and didn't want to mess it up. The apartment is very nice, even has a dishwasher and wide-screen TV. Our US DVDs won't work here though, wrong region. By far, this the nicest apartment we've had so far.

(Found out later the dishwasher does not work, but the washing machine spins at 1000 rpm so our clothes are drying almost overnight. But these wonders have a trade off ... we have a few roaches. We've got all opened foods now either in the fridge or the microwave and are keeping the clean plates, silverware in the fridge too.)

Day 28 - 10/18/08

Today's visit went well. She was a bit bored at first, we didn't bring the laptop this time, and she wasn't really interested in the stuff we brought. We started playing hide and seek, which she seem to enjoy. For the first time, she really started playing with Ryan and Evan. There was running, laughing, and wrestling. It's a glimpse of what our house will be when we get home. We brought Kinder Surprise eggs, which she knew exactly what they were. She kept saying 'Kinder Surprise. Ryan, Evan, and her started working together to put the toys together which was good to see. Also, for the first time, she really started to try to speak English. All of sudden she started copying our speech. It's a start.

The boys cold/allergy problems seem to be getting a bit better. Ryan has been taking Claritin which seems to help. He's not using his asthma inhaler quite as much. We still may run out have to try to get another inhaler in Donetsk or Kiev.

We met the 3 Italian families who are adopting in the area that are staying at the hotel. Two of them are adopting in the same school as we are from same group as our child. We've seen one of them there and actually thought he was the boy's father. They look alike. We're having dinner with all of them tonight at the hotel.

Day 27

Not a lot to report. The court date is still on.

We took our laptop today during our visit. She was really excited about it. I'm not sure if she's every really had much time on a computer but she caught on quickly. She did some math games and we tried to work in English as much as we could. She didn't want to quit. We were asked not to bring in gum anymore. Apparently, there was some incident. I know she likes to share her gum with her classmates. We're thinking it some may have gotten stuck some place it shouldn't have.

We took some clothes that we brought but they were all too small for her. We left them with the school for other children but she was initially upset until we told her we'd bring her clothes that fit her. Mary took her measurements so we'll be seeing if we can find some clothes for her here. If not here, while we're in Donetsk.

One of her classmates came in during the visit for some reason. He was smaller but not sure of his age. He was non-stop energy, talked the entire time and didn't really seem to mind we couldn't really understand him. By the end of the visit he was organizing play with Ryan and Evan.

2 days until court ....

Days 25 & 26 - Oct 15 & 16

We have our court date!!! It's this Monday, Oct. 20th. The plan is to head to Donetsk Monday after court. Mary and the boys are going to be staying in Donetesk during the 10 day waiting period. They are going to be sharing an apartment with Heather Smith, who is now in the same hotel as we are. It's really good to have her here. We've been going to dinner every night. I (Larry) have to go to Luxembourg to work during the 10 days. My employer has offices there and I need to work a bit as I'm almost out of vacation. During the 10 days, Mary and Heather will venture out here every few days to visit our respective children. We're worried that they'll think we've abandoned them even though they've been told what is going happen. It seems like a good plan.

The visits have been going well. It seems like we're starting to communicate a bit more. It's probably a combination of her learning some English and us learning some Russian. We're having to cut down on the snacks we bring. She has a huge sweet tooth. We're not going to be able to visit her today (the 16th). Our driver is off transporting the school director to Donetsk for the day and can't take us over to the school. She was a little upset when we left yesterday but she did wave good bye to us. I made the mistake of not remembering that we weren't coming today and originally told her that we'd be there at the normal time. Our facilitator called to smooth things over.

Days 23 & 24

It seems we're getting close to our court date. Our facilitator has returned this morning and is now off negotiating with the judge. He's hoping that it will be next Tuesday. It can't be too soon for us.

The visits are going okay. She's always glad to see us. Yesterday she walked us out to our car when we were leaving and we were worried that we were going to have a repeat performance from a couple of days ago but she opened the doors for us and waved good-bye. We've been playing card games. She seems to pick up on the concept of the games pretty easily and is usually winning, even without us letting her win. The language barrier is really tough. It's so hard to communicate but we'll keep working on it. She doesn't seem to have a great desire to learn English. We have the 'First Thousand Words in Russian' book that we're using to go over words with her. Part of the problem is that she doesn't really read in Russian yet. Even though she's 8, she had practically no education and her previous orphanage and is now in the first grade just learning the basics. It seems like it would a bit easier if she already read some Russian. Since she's not, we're going over numbers, time, colors, etc.

Days 20,21, & 22 (I think)

We took the overnight train to Donetsk again to move out to the region to be with the 8 yo child we're trying to adopt. The train is getting really old. We arrived Friday morning but she was having a medical examination on Friday so we didn't actually visit her until Saturday morning. On Friday, our facilitator received the approval from the town's inspector and the boarding school for us to adopt her. He took the train back to Kiev Friday to file all the papers with the SDA on Monday morning. Hopefully, things will move quickly and we can get our court date soon.

The town where we're staying in is pretty rustic, especially compared to Kiev. It's about 20 km from the school. We're staying in the only hotel in the area. The hotel is okay, though the water is pretty flaky. We have no water occasionally for a few minutes and then it's back. We have a two room 'suite' with a refrigerator but no microwave. The only internet connection is an internet cafe about a 3 minute walk from the hotel. The biggest problem is food. We've only found 2 restaurants in town, one at the hotel and one about a 20 minute walk from the hotel. The food is okay, especially at the restaurant in town but neither have English menus, which makes things very challenging. We're eating a lot of bread, cheese, and yogurt. The boys have been real troopers. Ryan is having some allergy/asthma problems that we're trying to manage. I think all the dust here is causing him problems.

The visits have gone fairly well but both Mary and I (Larry) are exhausted after each visit. The language barrier is pretty formidable. The staff has been very supportive. On the first day, when we pulled up she was outside playing and she jumped up and down. She grabbed Mary's hand and wouldn't let it go until we got inside. We were in the room of an older student. They kicked him out of his own room for a couple of hours, felt bad about that. She's very inquisitive, looking all around the room, looking in anything she could. We did a puzzle, she drew, we showed her pictures of our house and family. Our digital camera was a big hit. She started to take pictures of everything and everybody. We practically had to pry it our of her hands. Our facilitator called at the end of the visit and talked to her, asking if she understood what was going on, if she liked us, and if she would like us to adopt her. She said yes to everything. He also explained that we would leaving shortly and come back tomorrow. She was fine with us leaving and gave us a hug and waved goodbye.

Today's visit was interesting. She gave us a hug when we arrived. She had a bag of her stuff, pictures & dolls, that she wanted to show to us. We spent most of the visit outside playing on the playground and with some rocket balloons we brought. Everything seemed fine. She and Evan were playing together. When it was time for us to leave, she put her coat and shoes back on and walked outside with us. Our driver was there and she climbed in the car and wouldn't get out. Apparently, she thought she was leaving with us today and her bag of stuff was packed to leave. She became pretty upset when she had to get out of the car and come back inside. Both Mary and I felt horrible. We don't know if we said 'da' to something that led her to believe she was leaving today. Nobody spoke much English but I tried to explain the situation to her teacher who talked to her and explain things. She was a little better after that but still very upset and wouldn't actually say goodbye to us when we left. I'm sure she will be fine tomorrow. Our facilitator is going to call the school tonight to talk to the teacher to make sure everything is okay.

Day 16 & 17 - visit to orphanage boarding school

We took the overnight train last night (Sunday) from Kiev and arrived at Donetsk early Monday morning. Larry and I (Mary) and the boys shared a sleeper car for 4. If you have allergies (feather pillows and bed mats) or problems with others smoking then prepare yourself for an exhausting trip on the train.

.. more later today .. (or so I thought - we had unexpected internet connection problems)

The visit to see this 8 yr old girl went well. It turns out there are no guardian problems as we were first told. The school is about a 90 minute drive from Donetsk in what appears to be a pretty poor region but the school is relatively clean and well-maintained, considering the age of the buildings. The children appear to be well-cared for. Our facilitator brought along a psychologist to test the girl's development and she did quite well. She did better than I (Larry) would have considering she was brought in before 6 strange adults and asked questions and performed tasks for about an hour. After the 'test' she wanted to show us her room and proceeded to give us a tour of a large portion of the school. She has only been in this school for about a month. She is just starting to learn her letters and numbers. She was not receiving any formal schooling at the orphanage she lived at prior to this boarding school.

We have decided to proceed with the adoption process. She seems very smart and energetic and we're quite taken with her, probably more than we should be at this point since a lot can yet go wrong. We returned to Kiev on the overnight train Monday night to start the process. We will be moving all of our 'overpacked' stuff out to the region to stay closer to this wonderful little girl. We spent 2 hours today in a government notary office getting the forms notarized to officially notify the SDA and the region that we intend to adopt her. I have no idea why it took so long. There seemed to be a lot of activity and I was expecting a stack of papers to be signed but there were just the two forms. We leave tomorrow on the overnight train to Donetsk to stay in the region until the court date.

Hopefully, the process will be smooth. The school director, social worker, and local inspector seem to be very cooperative and supportive. They really seem to want what is best for her.

This is taking longer than we had hoped and I'm now requesting more vacation time. Fortunately, I have a couple more weeks but after that I'm going to have to figure out what to do. My job allows me to work remotely so it's possible if I have a decent connection I can actually work from Ukraine. We'll see ....

Day ??

Neither Larry or I really wanted to post. We've been waiting. We are still in Kiev. Our representative has been really working hard for us. He took an overnight train to meet the young girl whose file we where shown at the SDA. She is actually in a small village and not the city like we thought. Sunday we are all taking the overnight train to get a chance to meet her. We are not staying out there but are taking the next train back to Kiev. Maybe I will understand when I see the village ?

We stayed so much longer than expected at our original apartment that we had to move out because their next tenants will be arriving. We were moved to a smaller apartment closer to the square and SDA. It is in an older building so is a whole new experience. No microwave here, smaller fridge, had to go out and buy matches to light the old gas stove. But the big plus is cable TV with some English speaking channels. We are on the 4th floor but the ceilings in this building are so-o-o high that I think we are climbing the same number of stairs as when we were on the 7th floor.

We've had requests for more photos. Here's a link to some touristy photos from our explorations around Kiev.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/21558405@N05/sets/72157607629940155/show/